Embracing Unique Learning Journeys, the ups, downs and the battles, A Parent's Story

Embracing Unique Learning Journeys, the ups, downs and the battles, A Parent's Story

As a parent of three incredible children, I have learned that each of their learning experiences is as unique as they are. No child is the same and as a parent we learn and navigate the journey that unfolds but what if your child’s development and learning doesn’t follow all those books and milestones that you are met with and told are the “norm”.

Our family navigates a landscape where traditional education does not always meet the diverse needs of our children.

My eldest thrives in a conventional school environment, managing the ups and downs of academic life with resilience. He adapts to challenges, and while it isn’t always easy, he often does so without a second thought.

In contrast, my second child faces significant hurdles. He has a deep love for learning, yet he often reaches a breaking point when his routine is disrupted. During primary school and early years, we found success with tailored support, amazing teachers and understanding to his unique ways, but high school has introduced overwhelming stress. He becomes a SEND-betweener—someone who blends in to avoid scrutiny, someone whose needs are not always on show therefore can not be a child that’s needs support, until the facade cracks. His behaviors are frequently misunderstood and labeled as disruptive, his coke bottle eruptions only on display as he enters his safe space at home, but they are, in fact, signals of dysregulation. Each day, we dedicate time before and after school for him to self-regulate in a safe space. It shouldn’t have to be this way.

Then there's my youngest, a child who learns at her own rhythm, mostly barefoot or in wellies if forced until they fly through the air, illustrating her free-spirited nature. With delayed development and a non-verbal communication style, sensory profile and so much more, she has difficulty navigating the world around her, especially when it comes to safety, rules, and social norms. After years on waiting lists for specialised services, diagnosis and more, I still find her struggling despite our efforts. A battle no parent needs to just help your child be seen. As her parent, I face the same challenges, moving step by step through each moment navigating the journey, learning and educating myself to advocate and support her.

She experiences her surroundings through movement and sensation, requiring a constantly adaptive approach to her learning. Each day brings new needs, sometimes changing from minute to minute and it can be exhausting, imagine a child that’s doesn’t sleep very much needing constant supervision. Imagine a child who chokes frequently and doesn’t yet understand her emotions or how to learn through anything but play. Adapting every learning experience to suit her needs and repetition a child that’s cannot communicate if they understand or are retaining the information a world of only sounds. No conversation or I love you or evening knowing that your proud.

Her care needs are high; she navigates her environment in ways that require careful monitoring and support. With a daily supply of nappies and wipes and a trial-and-error approach to eating, we find ourselves questioning how any formal setting could accommodate her needs and cope.

We seek environments where she can explore freely without feeling confined. Unfortunately, no current formal education setting has been found to meet her requirements adequately. I once believed that a specialist school would be the solution, but after visiting, I left in tears. I could see her hiding, ready to explode with anxiety and frustration, distress and trauma it was clear she wouldn’t cope.

Travel poses another significant challenge, as even a short car ride can be overwhelming for her, it’s an unsafe commute. The expectation to endure long commutes to a place that does not fit her needs feels insurmountable.

Despite these challenges, we have a solution that works remarkably well for her. We tailor her learning and she’s coming on leaps and bounds, her confidence in her safe space that’s tailored to SEND needs a place we created to meet her needs. Yet, I find myself pleading for support, surely she’s entitled to more support, necessitating legal appeals for recognition of her needs. We know her better than anyone; we tailor her support to be responsive to her changing requirements.

The reality is that the education system must evolve to provide for all children, ensuring that their varied needs are met within school or community settings. Collaboration between families and educational authorities is essential. We are not seeking a battle; rather, we desire timely responses, effective educational health care plans (EHCPs), and sufficient funding to create supportive spaces for every child, including those whose needs fall outside the conventional curriculum.

Not all education takes a traditional route don’t discredit the learning spaces that support a unique an approach.

Yes more education support, funding, and training. We need more SEND specialist placements to be created but we also need more alternative route support and acknowledgment for those communities and settings that create those safe heavens and provide a learning experience that meets the needs of those that don’t fit into settings  for a short time frame or full time it’s about meeting a child’s needs so they can thrive.

Our children are our future the next leaders of the society we live in from our trades people to shop workers to government officials and leaders

Together we advocate for a more inclusive future where every child is given the opportunity to thrive. Education can happen anywhere, let's work towards making that a reality for all our children.

Stop fighting us and start helping hear the voices of experience to guide the changes that need to be implemented. We are the ones living with the consequences of the government’s policies and actions, hear our stories, listen to our requests. We are not being unreasonable we are asking for your help!! To support and understand what really is happening to our children and how they need a helping hand.